How To Deal With Someone Giving You The Silent Treatment:
(A Thread)
(A Thread)
The silent treatment is when a person abruptly starts to ignore you and your presence as a punishment. They control when the silent treatment is given and when they'll speak to you again. This can last for hours, days, or even months.
When they do speak to you again, they expect you to go on as if nothing happened. This leaves the other person walking on egg shells fearful about the next time they say or do the next thing. It creates hypervigliance.
Ultimately, when someone gives the silent treatment they're showing they lack the communication skills necessary to express their emotions. It's most common with people who witnessed this behavior in childhood.
If you find someone is giving you the silent treatment, you can confront the situation by speaking in "I" terms. Instead of "you're giving me the silent treatment." Say: "I notice you're not acknowledging me, are you ignoring me?"
If they say "no" ask them when you'll be able to talk through the issue. If they refuse to answer or don't directly confirm you'll talk through things, do not engage.
When they attempt to talk to you again and act as if nothing has happened, repeat again that you'd like to talk things out. Let them know if they need space, that's fine, but they'll need to communicate that.
Typically people who give the silent treatment go into a freeze mode. Ask "is there any way I can support you so you don't go into shut down." They might not know, but let them take some time to reflect on it.
If they continue the pattern or giving the silent treatment, let them know your boundary. "I am not going to be given the silent treatment. Please let me know when you're willing to have an open conversation."
Do not engage with the person. Or ask to be spoken to. Remove yourself fully if it's activating for you. If it becomes clear this is a pattern they're not going to change, you have the power to decide the role they play in your life.
Have you been given the silent treatment?
Let's talk about in the comments.
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Let's talk about in the comments.
@selfhealerscirc my private healing community opens in just one month. Spaces do sell out. Join the waitlist here: selfhealerscircle.com
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